literature

'...I already fell.'

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amerevengeance's avatar
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Literature Text

"For me? :/"
That :/ told me all I needed to know.
It never meant anything to you, not the way it did to me.
I don't like being touched by most people, including being hugged. You though... I would've done many things just for you to send an internet-hug. So when I encouraged you, that should have been a sign.
I don't like to initiate contact with other people either. In fact I really only have any prolonged contact with people I like. Hint-hint, nudge-nudge? Did I sincerely strike you as someone who'd do that with just anyone?
Yeah, I totally kiss and snuzzle and tight-hug and snuggle my friends all the time. ...Sarcasm? From me? I'm quite sure I don't know what you're talking about...

"You probably hate me now"
If only. If only I could. But, as I told you, I am not so fickle with my affection.
It'd be so much easier though, certainly. Just forget about you, forget I ever had any sort of emotion connected to you? Yeah. I really wish I could. I can't though. My heart doesn't work that way. I'll sit here, night after night, and emotionally torture myself with the potential that was there.

"I feel like crying.."
...
I know what you meant, but... that sounds so...

"What do you want me to say?"
How can you say that to me? I just told you I like you and you rejected me. Nicely, but it was still a definite rejection. What do I want you to say? What do you want me to say? "Oh, so sorry, I can see why me liking you  would be upsetting?" How is it you hurt me and yet I'm the one getting told the equivalent of, "Don't call me, I'll call you?"

Can I do something?
"No.."
...I'm not sure if you were taking that how I meant it or not. I wanted... I was going to... I didn't mean is there something I can do to make you like me back, it just.... You know what? You'll probably never read this anyway. So let's go for it.

*lightly kisses your cheek before resting forehead against yours* *whispers* I'm sorry. *takes a few steps back, head down*  ...I'm so, so sorry...
It's not pain or anger or sadness.
There's just an emptiness.

I didn't even know she existed a month ago.

"I'm just meant to always be a friend. I can accept that."
(no, I can't, but I didn't want you to hurt even more)
© 2011 - 2024 amerevengeance
Comments6
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SilentHail15's avatar
If anything, I swear this describes what happened today. Reading this is kind of helping me cope.