Every day, wake up and take a pill
So you don't go looking for lethal thrills.
Haven't you ever wanted to go to the brink
Of destruction, just to see if you'd sink
Into the clutches of death or if you'd survive
Just because God still wants you alive?
You live on time stolen not borrowed
From some intangible thing called tomorrow.
Forget that white, round pill stamped 1-4-2
And you'll realize how much you can do
If only they would let you try
To jump off, spread your wings, and fly.
But even with the meds in your system,
You still aren't without symptoms.
Your working memory abilities
Are poor enough to come to futility.
Imagine the frustration when you find
You can't recall what was in your mind
Just moments before. You find yourself lacking
And your brain seems to be slacking,
Even when you're given some cues
Not everything comes to mind for you.
And not only memory, but functioning speed
Is a hindrance and daily you find you need
More time than others do to process events
Before your reaction can possibly be sent
From the prefrontal cortex of your bipolar brain
To other parts of your body; and this seems mundane,
Until you add up these effects and more yet.
Skipping your meds is taking a bet
That you won't turn depressive
Or have a manic state that's impressive,
With intense hallucinations
And paranoid fixations.
But it's the depressive states that are bad
There's more to it than simply being sad.
You feel guilty, worthless and with every breath
You wonder if life's worse than death.
You feel like something must be wrong
Since everyone else seems so strong
And you're here feeling so weak
As the stressors come to a peak.
In either state, your thoughts rush,
Making you wonder when you're mind will ever hush.
For the most though, it isn't so bad
If you take the pills that for years you've had.
Swallowing them is a nuisance, it's true,
But it's what helps you pull through
Those days when you think you can't take
A single thing more or you'll break.
The meds allow you more good days
And I happen to like it that way.