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Every day, wake up and take a pill
So you don't go looking for lethal thrills.
Haven't you ever wanted to go to the brink
Of destruction, just to see if you'd sink
Into the clutches of death or if you'd survive
Just because God still wants you alive?
You live on time stolen not borrowed
From some intangible thing called tomorrow.
Forget that white, round pill stamped 1-4-2
And you'll realize how much you can do
If only they would let you try
To jump off, spread your wings, and fly.
But even with the meds in your system,
You still aren't without symptoms.
Your working memory abilities
Are poor enough to come to futility.
Imagine the frustration when you find
You can't recall what was in your mind
Just moments before. You find yourself lacking
And your brain seems to be slacking,
Even when you're given some cues
Not everything comes to mind for you.
And not only memory, but functioning speed
Is a hindrance and daily you find you need
More time than others do to process events
Before your reaction can possibly be sent
From the prefrontal cortex of your bipolar brain
To other parts of your body; and this seems mundane,
Until you add up these effects and more yet.
Skipping your meds is taking a bet
That you won't turn depressive
Or have a manic state that's impressive,
With intense hallucinations
And paranoid fixations.  
But it's the depressive states that are bad –
There's more to it than simply being sad.
You feel guilty, worthless and with every breath
You wonder if life's worse than death.
You feel like something must be wrong
Since everyone else seems so strong
And you're here feeling so weak
As the stressors come to a peak.
In either state, your thoughts rush,
Making you wonder when you're mind will ever hush.
For the most though, it isn't so bad
If you take the pills that for years you've had.
Swallowing them is a nuisance, it's true,
But it's what helps you pull through
Those days when you think you can't take
A single thing more or you'll break.
The meds allow you more good days
And I happen to like it that way.
Something I wrote for a Cognitive Psychology project, the effects of Bipolar on cognition (more emotional than scientific though).

:shrug:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmorning-star-42:
Morning-Star-42 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, I didn't think that anyone else really experienced bipolar the way I do. It's so good to know just that someone else understands! Thank you for writing this. I hope things get better and better.
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:iconfirecrackerlady:
FirecrackerLady Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013  Student General Artist
I have gone looking for lethal thrills many times.  This reminds me of something I would write.  Wonderful job my friend!
Reply
:iconcrazyladylovergirl:
crazyladylovergirl Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
This is exactly exactly what is in my head and heart always. Wow, right now the memory and attention is a major problem in my life!! This explains it so well. You did such a great job. 
Reply
:iconamerevengeance:
amerevengeance Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for both of your comments :heart: I'm really glad it resonates with so many people
Reply
:iconcrazyladylovergirl:
crazyladylovergirl Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013
It's like you read my heart and mind ~ beautiful written.
Reply
:icontwitchlemur:
twitchlemur Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Amazing this made me cry. I have this disorder
Reply
:iconysbeer1:
Ysbeer1 Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012
There is a lot of poetry on bipolar but none as good as this poem. I can relate to everything in it
Reply
:iconsoso212:
soso212 Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012
wow....
Reply
:iconthechavsstolemename:
TheChavsStoleMeName Featured By Owner May 16, 2012
this really resonates with me and perfectly describes the mood cycles. thank you.
Reply
:iconcarefulibite17:
Carefulibite17 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm bipolar. This is a wonderful peice. thank you for writing it.
Reply
:iconamerevengeance:
amerevengeance Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aww, thank you :hug:

Your sig says "~Kay" is that your name? Because only the best people are named Kay (like me ;))
Reply
:iconcarefulibite17:
Carefulibite17 Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Yep, I'm a Kayla. ^^
Reply
:iconrosary0fsighs:
Rosary0fSighs Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2011
your wonderful piece has been featured here! [link]
Reply
:iconjinglebelle667:
jinglebelle667 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2011  Student Digital Artist
I can really relate to this. Thank you for writing this, it was beautiful :heart:
Reply
:iconamerevengeance:
amerevengeance Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You are very welcome :hug:
Reply
:iconcrazyandconfusedone:
crazyandconfusedone Featured By Owner May 27, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm like 98% certain I'm bipolar but I don't want to go to a doctor because I don't want pills regulating my life, that would only make my depression worse.
Reply
:iconbeautifuldisaster-07:
BeautifulDisaster-07 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2010
This is really beautiful <3
I love the emotion you've captured in it....my favorite part would have to be, "And not only memory, but functioning speed/Is a hindrance and daily you find you need/More time than others do to process events/Before your reaction can possibly be sent/From the prefrontal cortex of your bipolar brain/To other parts of your body; and this seems mundane"
Reply
:iconamerevengeance:
amerevengeance Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks again :huggle: I'm glad you liked that part, "From the prefrontal cortex of your bipolar brain" is one of my favorite lines.
Reply
:iconbeautifuldisaster-07:
BeautifulDisaster-07 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2010
I really love that line, as well :D You are very welcome <3
Reply
:icon12baracidblues:
12BarAcidBlues Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2010
This is beautiful. And it happens to describe the exact way I feel about my medication. Love it...
Reply
:iconamerevengeance:
amerevengeance Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :]
Reply
:icondarkmoon808:
Darkmoon808 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
gasp I'm bipolar 0.o
Reply
:iconamerevengeance:
amerevengeance Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
:? I can't tell if you're saying that because you actually have bipolar or if you just mean you relate to the poem...
Reply
:icondarkmoon808:
Darkmoon808 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I acutally have bipolar disorder and I relate to poem.
Reply
:icondigerati84:
digerati84 Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2010
Wow, that is an amazing piece of literature! Love it
Reply
:iconamerevengeance:
amerevengeance Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconmystresscyanide:
MystressCyanide Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2010  Student General Artist
It is beautiful
Reply
:iconamerevengeance:
amerevengeance Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
:aww: Thanks.
Reply
:iconkelipac:
kelipac Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2010
LOVE IT
Reply
:iconamerevengeance:
amerevengeance Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconartcreater784:
artcreater784 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2010
this describes how i feel about my meds exactly
Reply
:iconamerevengeance:
amerevengeance Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Good to know someone can relate.
Reply
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